By Denise Flaim

August 13, 2007

I have a bookmark taped a couple of inches above the computer screen where I am tapping out these words.

“You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing,” it reads.

Last week, New York City Councilwoman Darlene Mealy of Brooklyn introduced a measure banning the word “bitch,” saying it is responsible for creating “a paradigm of shame and indignity.” (The City Council is no stranger to legislating linguistically: In February, it passed a similarly symbolic moratorium on the “N word.”)

Misogynistic rap lyrics aside, there are some of us out here who use the “B word” just as it was originally intended - to describe a female dog. It’s not a slap - it’s a statement of fact.

Go to any dog show, flip open the catalog, and prepare to be awash in the word. In dog parlance, dogs are males and bitches are females, and when someone says, “Let me tell you, that was one gorgeous bitch I saw you with today,” there is no greater compliment.

Context goes only so far, however, especially in a subculture like dog shows, where outsiders visit regularly and blanch at the word, no matter how benignly it is spoken. There once was an editor at this newspaper - like most journalists, no stranger to expletives himself - who acquired his first show dog. But he would literally wince - all 250 pounds of him - when I’d say, nonchalantly, “I heard your dog got beat by a bitch last weekend.”

I’ll be honest - it made me say it more.

Even Westminster commentator David Frei concedes that he thinks twice before using the word to describe a female contender every February, when the vaunted show airs on the USA Network: It is jarring to those who are not accustomed to using it as we dog people do. To say nothing of how to explain it to the kids.

(By contrast, kids who grow up in dog-show households learn to self-edit. A friend of mine who drove from Texas to breed her you-know-what to a New Jersey stud dog brought along her preteen daughter, who matter-of-factly attended the breeding - not her first. “Mom says not to talk about it at school,” she said sagely, understanding the quicksand she would find herself in trying to explain the peculiar mechanics of the canine union to her peers.)

What sets dog people apart from everyone else is not just their reflexive - and correct - use of “bitch” as a term to denote the gender of a particular dog. It is the reverence and respect the noun evokes for us.

Dog shows are no different than life: Guys have the edge. Top-winning dogs are invariably male. Part of this has to do with logistics: Heat cycles and their attendant hormones can wreak havoc on a girl’s coat, weight and show attitude. But it’s also aesthetics: Many judges are drawn to the ruggedness and power of male dogs.

But among breeders, bitches rule. That’s because breeders know that stud dogs are a dime a dozen … it is the female that holds the value and strength of the breed. And ask any dog-show judge: In many, if not most breeds, the quality often runs deeper among females than males.

For this reason, people who go out to buy their first show dog usually get a male, because breeders are quicker to part with them. If they stay in the game long enough, though, many trade their loyalties to the bitches. In many breeds, they are more complicated and more clever than the males. They are thinkers, planners and decision-makers, and give away their affections less easily. It is the very rare - and, likely, suicidal - male who dares challenge one in a fight. Instead, males see her strength of character and respect it, which is more than I can say for many of their human counterparts.

And nowhere will you see the sheer beauty of motherhood - in all its tenderness and all its tenacity - than a bitch with a litter of puppies. Her selfless, 24-hour dedication to the new whelps … the fierce protectiveness with which she guards them from everyone but those in her circle of trust … her “tough love” lessons after weaning, readying them for the less-than-cuddly world ahead - this is the essence of femininity. And she imparts it all without any of the gender-

related baggage we have appended, from guilt to self-doubt.

Like my bookmark says: That is not a bad thing.